Get Out of my Dreams (And Into My Car)
by TheBadIdeaBears
Summary: After getting a leaflet through the door Armin decides that he needs to go and get his filthy car washed. When he gets there he gets a lot more than he bargained for than a wax and wash.


**So for Valentines Pandora asked for some fun loving Jearmin to the sounds of Billy Ocean and this is what you got - Jean in tiny red speedos, hope you enjoy :D**

* * *

 **HANJI'S WET DREAMS: GUARANTEED TO GET YOU NICE AND SOAKED!**

When Armin first gets the leaflet through the door his first reaction is that it's for some kind of strip club. He's about to throw it into the recycling before he sees the picture of a Mazda on the front and realises that it's actually for a car wash. He looks from the leaflet in his hand to his car on the drive and back again a few times, pondering. His car has always shown the dirt – being green – but it has been a long time since it's received a wash so Armin stays his hand.

A few days later he hands over his keys to the eccentric owner – Hanji herself – he's no longer sure this was such a good idea. She's nice enough but the ferocity of her greeting did make him wish he had just thrown the leaflet away and done it himself, saved himself the embarrassment and the money.

"You're such a little cutie," Hanji coos giving Armin's hair a ruffle. "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a vet," he replies. He can feel a heart creeping up the back of his neck as Hanji studies him, a grin on her face.

"How sweet," she says. "I can just imagine you surrounded by dozens of puppies, all of them wanting your attention." She leans over and boops the tip of his nose with her index finger, still grinning.

"Um..." Armin says still blushing furiously, "that did happen once." He's never been inspected like this by someone he's just met before (aside from a very well meaning friend of his mother's who tried to set him up with her daughter). Hanji though... Hanji looks at him like he's a prize specimen that she wants to know everything about, right down to the last detail. The attention might be nice to someone else – like Eren, Eren loves attention, Eren is an attention whore – but Armin just feels uncomfortable.

"So would you like the full works on your car?" Hanji asks leaning forward on the desk on her elbows.

"Sure," Armin shrugs, he's not sure what 'the full works' entails but he's past caring, he'd just like the Spanish inquisition to end. This is not something he's used to and it's not something he's enjoying.

"Awesome," Hanji smiles. "I can fit you in now, as you can see we're not busy! Not since my ex-husband opened a girlie car wash over the road just to spite me, the dick!"

"Um... if that's okay," Armin replies awkwardly, hoping to not open that can of worms. He looks around the office and, sure enough he is the only one there. It's not as if he himself is busy either but he's glad that he doesn't have to wait around for ages if it can be done now.

"Sure sure," Hanji says waving him off. "I can get on that for you now." She turns and yells over her shoulder. "Hey Jean!" She turns back to Armin. "Well if you ever get bored of being a vet you can always come and work for me."

"What?"

"I could always do with another cutie around to liven up my day," she laughs.

"Um..."

"I needed some cute sex appeal after the re-brand," she continues. "Thought it might be a good way to drum up some more custom if people thought there might be sexy boys but then Erwin had to come and ruin it."

"I'm okay thank you," Armin says privately thinking that he's wouldn't be the first choice when someone says 'sexy boy'.

Hanji shrugs. "Well if you change your mind..."

Before Armin has the chance to politely decline again a tall man with a mousy brown undercut comes out from the back. The first thing that Armin's eyes land on is the tight, damp vest that clings to every curve and contour of the Adonis' body. When he turns slightly Armin can feel his cheeks heating up because he can see absolutely everything of this man's chiselled chest and he hopes he isn't as pink as it feels.

"You called Hanji?" the man asks and the sound of his voice sends a shiver down Armin's spine.

"Yes," Hanji grins coming around from behind her desk and placing both hands on the man's shoulders. She turns him to face Armin and Armin falls a little more in love. He's got a touch of the British Royals about him (thankfully more young Prince William than Prince Charles) and wouldn't look out of place at Ascot but he's got the more beautiful amber eyes Armin has ever seen. "Jean this is Armin and I want you to give him the full works."

It sounds like an invitation for sex and Armin feels his face heating up even more. Even Jean notices the sexual innuendo in her words as a blush also dusts his cheeks.

"Huh?"

"I've got his keys here," Hanji says brightly putting them into Jean's hand. He seems to realise what's happening and looks outside to where Armin's car sits.

"Oh right..."

Hanji grins and gives Jean a shove towards Armin. "You kids have fun, I've got some very boring paperwork I need to catch up on." She leaves, cackling to herself as she goes.

Armin rubs the back of his neck, his embarrassment obvious, and tries to find somewhere to allow his eyes to settle. He can't look at the floor, that would make it _way_ too obvious that he can't look at Jean. He definitely can't look at his chest otherwise his head might explode so he settles for his face although he feels like he might die from embarrassment. _This was such a bad idea! Just get your keys and go home!_

Thankfully Jean breaks the silence for him.

"So your car... do you want the inside done as well as the outside?" he asks.

"Sure, that would be great," Armin replies and instantly regrets it as he remembers what a tip the inside of his car is. It's mostly half filled bottles of water that are so old they're probably stagnant and some old receipts that need to be thrown away but it's still embarrassing as hell. _Maybe not..._ "Actually on second thoughts don't worry about the inside," he adds hurriedly. "It's fine, it's a bit of a mess so I'll do that myself at some point."

Jean chuckles. "I once cleaned out the car of a girl who had a dead deer in the boot so I doubt yours is that bad."

"What?"

"Yeah," Jean says. "She said she'd been on a hunting trip and had obviously forgotten it and left it there."

"How do you forget a dead deer?"

"I have no idea."

"Right..."

"So do you want to come back later?" Jean asks changing the subject. "If you're busy I can give you a call when I'm done if you leave your number with Hanji."

"Oh no that's fine," Armin says before he can stop himself, "I'll stay and watch if I'm not in the way."

"No," Jean says, "that's fine I don't mind at all. Just as long as you're not bored."

"I won't be bored," Armin says without thinking and instantly wishes he could take it back as he sees the amusement on Jean's face. "I... um... I have a book smiling at me."

"Right," Jean says smirking at him.

Armin can feel his heart beating faster and faster in his chest. Jean's smile is gorgeous and Armin is already falling for him more and more with every second.

"So um... shall I just stay in here?" he asks when he can finally find his voice again.

"Yeah," Jean says. "I'll do the inside of your car and then I'll do the outside."

"Sounds great."

Jean leaves, heading outside to start working on Armin's car and Armin takes a seat, making sure that he has a good view of Jean through the large window. He pulls his book out of his bag, fully intending to read it but as Jean bends over and his jeans tighten around his backside Armin knows that his book is going to stay firmly closed. His eyes are staying permanently focused on Jean.

He doesn't take his eyes off him either. The intention had been there but his book lies, unopened and untouched, on his lap. Every time he thinks about reading it Jean will bend over or reach for something or, even worse, when he takes his vest off entirely and Armin's attention is solely fixed on him. The soft sound of Billy Ocean plays from a radio behind him as he watches and Armin actually feels himself beginning to relax for the first time in forever. He can almost hear Eren telling him that it's about damn time that he let someone else do something _for him_ for a change rather than always running around after everyone else.

The care and precision Jean appears to be taking with his car makes Armin even happier. His car is one of his pride and joys and watching someone take as much care of it as he would relaxes him even more. After a while he even loses the pretence of reading the book and puts it back in his bag, eye fixed entirely on Jean. Thankfully Jean can't see him staring and Armin is so infatuated he doesn't see Hanji come back into the room, smirk when she sees what he's looking at and leave again.

An hour and a half goes by in no time at all and Armin only notices when Jean returns, closing the door behind him and still without a shirt on. He smiles at Armin and Armin feels his heart flip in his chest again. He desperately tries to keep his eyes on Jean's face and not think about the fact that he could wash clothes on Jean's abs.

"All done," Jean smiles.

"Thank you so much," Armin says getting to his feet. He gets up a little faster than he should have done and is suddenly very light-headed. He stumbles slightly but before he falls back down to his chair or falls forward an arm around him keeps him on his feet.

"Hey are you okay?" Jean asks and Armin wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole, he's so embarrassed.

"Yeah," he smiles, giving his head a small shake.

"You sure?" Jean asks looking concerned.

"Yeah," Armin says, desperately trying to ignore how utterly mortified he is, "just stood up too quickly, that's all."

"Bit of headrush?"

"Yeah, that's all."

Eyes on Armin Jean suddenly reaches up to brush Armin's fringe out of his eyes, hand lingering against Armin's cheek. He knows his face is probably only a few degrees cooler than the sun and now he's sure that Jean must know. Neither of them says anything though, neither wants to break the tension. They're just standing there staring at each other, Jean's arm still around Armin's waist. All they can focus on is each other and the rest of the world begins to melt away around them.

The door opens suddenly with a violent crash and Armin and Jean spring apart as if shocked. Armin's face is scarlet, even Jean seems a little flushed and they both look like teenagers who have been caught doing something they shouldn't be doing.

"Well hey there," Hanji sings brightly. "Jean all done with you?"

"What?" Armin squeaks. The innuendo and the smirk are both too much for him and it takes him a moment before he realises what she actually means. "Oh right the car."

"Yeah it's all done," Jean says running a hand through his hair, trying to makes himself look as natural as possible and like he wasn't just hugging a client while not wearing anything on his top half.

"You happy with it?" Hanji asks Armin.

"It looks great," he replies. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," Jean says with a slick smile that makes Armin's already weak knees even weaker.

"So... ah... how much do I owe you?" Armin asks turning his attention to Hanji.

"Oh don't worry about it sweetie," she says waving him off. "Call this a freebie."

"Are you sure?" Armin asks.

"Yeah, you actually replied to the leaflet I sent out so have this first one on us, tell your friends and please come back," she tells him. "Even if you just want to pop in from time to time to say hi."

"Okay sure," Armin smiles.

"And if you ever fancy a change of job," Hanji laughs, trying her luck once more, "you know where to find me."

"I'll bear that in mind," Armin chuckles. "Thank you so much again."

"Not at all," Jean says. "Happy to do it."

"Well I'll see you later," Armin says and leaves.

"He's cute," Hanji says once he's gone.

"I... ah... I hadn't noticed," Jean stammers, rubbing the back of his neck and refusing to make eye contact.

"Sure you didn't," Hanji sniggers as the door opens and a red faced Armin returns.

"Sorry," he says, "forgot my keys."

"Oh yeah," Jean says as if suddenly remembering that Armin's keys are still in his pocket. "Here." He places them in Armin's hand and he feels a slight tingle on his skin where they touch. He's pretty sure that Armin feels it too as a blush covers his cheeks and makes him look so adorable that Jean wants to ask him out to dinner regardless of the fact that Hanji is watching their every move.

"Thanks," Armin say smiling shyly at Jean.

"No problem."

"See you soon," Armin says and darts out again.

"Bye," Jean says, more to himself, grinning like an idiot as his mind is completely lost to thoughts of Armin. That is until Hanji clearing her throat brings him back to himself. "Um what were we talking about?"

"How you didn't notice that he was cute," Hanji smirks.

"Oh... right... that." Jean's face is on fire and he wants to crawl into hole. Thankfully no one else say his humiliation. Or at least he though they didn't but then Connie's head pops out from under Hanji's desk and Jean wants to die all over again.

"Has Jean finished being a giant fucking loser yet?" he asks.

"No," Hanji cackles.

"Hey screw you Connie!" Jean growls. "You're just as bad whenever that Sasha girl come in."

"Yeah but I actually had the balls to ask her out at the end of the day unlike you, you giant baby," Connie smirks.

"Whatever," Jean grumbles.

"Seriously though Jean," Hanji says, suddenly serious, "if you're attracted to him, which you so obviously are, then you should just say something if you see him again. It's been... what, a year since Marco?"

"A year and three months," Connie answers before Jean can.

"What the fuck? Have you been counting?" Jean asks, on the defensive. He knows exactly how long it's been since he and Marco broke up, he doesn't need his work colleagues, of all people, to remind him.

"Then maybe think on it, yeah?" Hanji suggests. "We just want you to be happy sweetie."

Jean sighs, thinks about this for a moment and he has to admit that it would have been nice to have the guts to ask Armin out and actually go out on a date with him. It would have been even nicer to kiss him at the end of the date as well but he's getting way too ahead of himself. He smiles through it and shakes his head.

"It's fine, I've probably missed my chance now," he says. "I doubt I'll ever see him again."

Hanji shrugs. "You never know."

* * *

As it turns out Hanji was right for once. Armin keeps going back to get his car washed, always managing to turn up when Jean is free to do the washing. Armin insists that it's just luck, that it has nothing to do with Jean and it's just that his car happens to get particularly dirty at the moment with all the dust in the air. If he believes that he'll believe anything and it's only himself that he's lying to.

It's comforting though. Despite the name 'Hanji's Wet Dreams' is a really nice place to go to sit and relax for an hour and just think about nothing. Well... Armin can't deny that he's not thinking about Jean's big, strong arms and that chest (especially when he takes his shirt off) but for the most part he allows himself to switch off to everything else outside.

He even gets to talk to Jean a little more and the more they talk the more Armin finds himself dreaming about Jean and wanting to see him more. He wants to see him, he wants to talk to him and he so desperately wants to ask him out but doesn't quite know what to say. So he keeps finding excuses to go back to the car wash every Saturday, hoping to get the chance to talk to Jean again.

Eren, however, doesn't quite get it. Mostly because Armin is as vague as hell when it comes to explaining why he now has a nearly full loyalty card for a car wash but also because Eren can be a bit slow on the uptake sometimes.

"So why are you paying someone to do something you could do at home for free?" he asks as Armin pulls into the yard.

"Because I'm too short to reach the roof and I want a good job done on it," Armin says avoiding Eren's eye because he knows that Eren will immediately know that it's not the whole truth, even though that is mostly true.

"Whatever, just stand on a box," Eren snorts.

"Maybe I like having someone else wash my car for a change rather than having to do everything myself," Armin huffs as they get out of the car.

"And there's nothing wrong with that, I'm just saying it's an odd thing to treat yourself to," Eren says. Armin opens his mouth to try to explain himself a little better but is cut of by Jean's voice calling over to him.

"Hey Armin!" As soon as Armin sees Jean in his tight, wet t-shirt the blush is already adorning his cheeks. Jean crosses the yard to meet him, his usual smile plastered on his face. "Back again?" he asks as he reaches Armin.

"Yeah," Armin replies bashfully.

"Need a wash again?" Jean asks.

"Um yeah," Armin replies. He can practically feel Eren judging him as he watches the conversation, the penny dropping, and he knows that he's going to get it in the neck as soon as Jean is gone.

"Do you park under trees or something?" Jean asks, laughing as he looks over Armin's car taking in the bird shit and tree sap covering it.

"Something like that," Armin mutters avoiding Jean's eye.

"Well give us your keys," Jean says with a smile. "I'll go grab my stuff and get started."

"Thanks," Armin smiles.

"It's good to see you again," Jean says after a pause and Armin can feel the blushing getting worse.

"You too," he says.

The two of them are caught in a stare, just looking at each other, neither willing to break eye contact and Armin is really fighting the urge to just reach out and touch Jean. Each time they've had physical contact it felt so amazing that he just can't control himself. It's not until Eren clears his throat loudly that Armin remembers that he's there and he gets a hold of himself.

"Sorry," he says hurriedly. "This is my friend Eren. Eren this is Jean."

"Hi," Jean smiles and extends his hand.

"Hey," Eren says and shakes it, surveying Jean the whole time and Armin begs every single god he can think of that Eren doesn't do or say anything weird.

"We'll go wait inside," Armin says hurriedly, grabbing Eren's arm and very swiftly dragging him away.

"Nice to meet you," Jean calls after them.

"Same," Eren calls back before turning to Armin. "So that's why you come to get your car washed so often."

"Shut up, no it isn't!" Armin protests.

"Yes it is and you know it," Eren grins.

"Oh shut up," Armin grumbles.

"He looks like a horse."

"No he doesn't, will you shut up?"

"You've got it bad," Eren laughs. "If you like him so much just ask him out rather than keep paying him to wash your car."

"I'm working on it."

"And how many times are you going to get him to wash your car before you do?" Eren asks, a shit eating grin on his face.

"Leave me alone," Armin mutters after a pause.

Eren laughs. "There are better thing to spend your money on than some guy who looks like a horse washing your car."

"Maybe but there you go," Armin sighs as he opens the door and leads Eren inside. Sitting behind the desk is a man that Armin has only seen a few time with a dark undercut, reading a book. He looks up when he hears the door close.

"Back again?" he asks Armin when he sees him, his expression never changing.

"Um yeah," Armin replies, flushing again.

"Hanji says you're our best customer," the man says.

"Uh... yeah something like that."

The man looks up and his piercing gaze falls to Eren and Eren's cheeks begin to heat up. "And you bought a friend with you."

"H... hi," Eren stammers and Armin knows that he's totally smitten with this grumpy looking man. He also makes a mental note to give Eren as much shit for it as possible. If Eren's going to give him a hard time about paying Jean to wash his car over and over then he's going to make sure that payback is a bitch.

"Levi," the man says extending his hand over the counter.

"E... Eren," he stammers taking it, his cheeks still an adorable shade of pink and Armin wouldn't be in the least bit surprised if Levi was becoming just as smitten with Eren as Eren is with him.

"You got a car Eren?" Levi asks.

Eren opens his mouth to answer but is cut off by Hanji calling out from one of the back rooms. "Oh Levi darling! Can I borrow you for a moment?"

Levi groans, rolling his eyes as he gets to his feet. "Duty calls," he says. "See you around _Eren_."

"See you," Eren says, his voice more breath than word. He waits until Levi has left before turning to Armin, his eyes alive with excitement. "I need to get a car and I need to get him to wash it forever."

Armin chuckles. "But surely there are better thing to spend your money on than getting some guy to wash your car for you."

"Okay, alright, I take it back," Eren says.

"Yeah I thought you might."

"Is he here a lot?" Eren asks, trying to sound as casual as possible but failing miserably.

"Why? Want to ask him out?" Armin teases.

"Yes," Eren replies.

"Then do it."

"I want him to bend me over the hood of a car and fuck me till I'm screaming and have grill marks on my knees," Eren says.

"Right..." Armin says. "Maybe don't tell him that on the first date."

Eren shrugs. "Would be a good way to get his attention."

"And you might get a shag out of it," Armin says rolling his eyes as he sits in his favourite spot and watches Jean as he begins to lather up the hood of the car.

"Exactly," Eren says brightly, sitting down next to him and Armin doesn't have the heart to tell him that he was joking.

* * *

There are many perks to working for Hanji. God knows she's always happy for Jean to come in for extra hours and even if there's not much going on she can always find him something to do. She's really good about having to suddenly drop a shift and she's not constantly riding his arse about people coming through the door (which is good because hardly any people are coming in since the one over the road opened).

The downside to working for Hanji is that she's quite unpredictable. Every so often she'll decide to do something, think she's told them about her brand new plan and actually forgotten to so it comes as a complete surprise. It's rather exhausting to say the least but Jean likes to think that he's worked for her for long enough that he can just about work out when she's going to have one of these moments.

This time, however, it takes him entirely by surprise.

"Jean!" she sings as soon as he comes through the door, grinning manically and he knows that whatever is about to come he's probably not going to like it.

"Morning."

"I'm so happy to see you," Hanji says flinging her arms wide, still with that unsettling grin on her face.

"Really?" he asks raising an eyebrow at her as she pulls back.

"What?" she asks. "Can't I be happy to see one of my favourite employees when he come in in the morning?"

"Not when you're smiling like that, you can't," he replies fixing her with the most unimpressed look he can. "You're scheming something and I don't like it."

"Aww," Hanji pouts. "What gave me away?"

"Well the creepy smile for one thing," Jean replies.

"Rude," she laughs.

"And the fact that I know what you're like and I don't trust you," he adds.

"That is a fair assumption, I'll give you that."

"So what are you scheming?" Jean asks when she offers no explanation to what's going on inside her head.

"It's hardly a scheme," she grins.

"Just tell me."

"I got you a new uniform," Hanji tells him.

"Oh..." _That's not too bad..._ He was thinking something much worse than that. That's positively normal for Hanji.

"I put it in your locker," she adds.

"Thanks." Jean is so taken by surprise that he doesn't quite know what to say.

"Not expecting that, were you?" she smirks, amused by the fact that Jean thinks he's got her sussed.

"If I'm honest, no," Jean replies. "So what made you decide a change of uniform was in order?"

Hanji shrugs. "I know you end up going through a few shirts during a week working here so I thought you might like something a bit more waterproof."

Jean is genuinely touched by this. "That's great, thank you so much."

"Try it on for size," she says smiling warmly at him. "Like I said I left it in your locker, let me know what you think."

"Cool thank you." Jean says. He smiles as he heads out back to his locker.

Hanji watches him disappear through the door, also with a smile on her face. It warms her heart to see her employees happy and content with their job and she'll do anything to keep them enjoying their work.

"He fell for it then?" Levi asks appearing from underneath her desk where he had been fixing the printer.

"I wouldn't say 'fell for it'," Hanji says. "It is a new uniform and it is in his locker."

"He's going to lose his shit when he sees it," Levi points out as he gets to his feet, wiping the printer ink from his hands onto a rag.

"I don't think he will," Hanji waves him off.

"Tenner says he gets so mad he shits himself out of pure rage," Levi says.

"You're on," Hanji replies. She goes to shake Levi's hand to seal the deal.

"HANJI WHAT THE FUCK!" Jean screams from the locker room, clearly unhappy, before they can shake on it.

"Told you," Levi says taking her hand and shaking it.

"He's probably just surprised," Hanji says.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!" Jean continues.

"He's just processing," Hanji says brightly.

"You owe me a tenner," Levi tells her.

"I did not shake on that you took advantage of the situation," she points out.

"I was right and I'm not letting you get out of paying up that easily," Levi says.

"Fine," Hanji pouts as Jean appears in the doorway, a look of abject horror and disgust on his face.

"What the actual fuck Hanji?" he asks.

"Problem?" she asks smiling at him sweetly. She looks the picture of innocence but both Jean and Levi know better.

"What the fuck is this?" Jean asks brandishing the flimsy red material that had been waiting for him in his locker.

"Your new uniform," Hanji says as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth and it takes all of Jean's willpower not to throw the offending item in her face and have a diva storm off.

"It's a speedo!" he cries.

"Yeah... and?"

"But why though?" Jean moans.

"Because we need some eye candy to rake in some extra custom," Hanji replies.

"And me in a speedo is going to do that?" Jean asks incredulously.

"He has a point," Levi says.

"Less out of you," Hanji snaps turning a glare on him before turning back to Jean. "You're young, you're strapping, you're fit and you in those will have customers flocking to get that tight ass of yours to wash their cars."

"Really?" Jean asks, still sceptical.

"Listen," Hanji says wrapping an arm around Jean's shoulder, "ever since Erwin – may his dick shrivel and fall off not that it would do any good as he never managed to satisfy me with it anyway – opened up his girlie car wash over the road just to spite me we have been getting significantly less business."

"Apart from that blond kid," Levi point out.

"Apart from him yes," Hanji agrees. "So I've been trying to think of ways that we can drum up some extra business."

"You keep saying that like this is going to work," Jean says.

"Now I really can't do anything about the lesbian who keeps paying the little blonde girl in the bikini to wash her truck but I can give people the extra little bit of skin that they want and deserve so what do you say? Wanna help me out here? It will be worth your while." The smile on her face is so pure and pleading, plus everything to do with Erwin as well, that Jean can already feel himself cracking.

"Are you going to pay me more?" he asks after a pause.

"Of course I will," she says, "if it works," she adds after a brief pause.

Jean sighs. He's not getting out of this and there is no point in fighting it any longer. "Fine," he relents.

"Attaboy," Hanji says clapping him on the shoulder.

"I'll go get changed then," he sighs.

"See you out front to show off then," she sings and heads outside.

Jean sighs again and makes his way to the locker room in defeat. As he goes he catches Levi's eye. "Don't judge me."

"I'm not saying a fucking word."

* * *

"Oh my god!" Connie cries as soon as he walks into the locker room and sees Jean in nothing but the tight red speedos.

"I know," Jean says shaking his head.

"You look tragic!"

"I know."

"I can see your everything!"

"I know!" Jean groans and sits down placing his head in his hands. "I can't believe I'm actually going outside in it."

"Why are you?" Connie asks.

"What do you mean?" Jean asks looking up.

"Why are you wearing speedos in public?" Connie asks.

"It's the new uniform," Jean replies looking at Connie like he's an idiot.

"I didn't get one," Connie says.

"What?"

"I didn't get a new uniform."

"What?" Jean speaks.

"Oh my god, she tricked you," Connie laughs, slapping his thigh as he doubles over.

"No she..." Before Jean can even finish the sentence he realises that it's true. "Oh my god she tricked me."

"Damn son and I thought I was stupid," Connie chuckles shaking his head.

"Christ has it gotten that bad that my intelligence is being compared to yours," Jean groans, slapping his palm to his forehead.

"It's just because of that blond guy," Connie says patting Jean sympathetically on the shoulder.

"What, Armin?" Jean asks. "Why does everyone keep bringing him up?"

"Because you get stupid when this guy's around," Connie says. "Like really stupid and you can't deny that."

"I mean I guess so..."

"Mate you got conned into wearing a speedo as a work uniform," Connie says, "you've got it bad."

"Yeah you're right," Jean sighs. He does and it's high time he admitted it.

"Then stop being such a fucking weenie and tell him how you feel about him," Connie tells him.

"Really?" Jean asks, looking up sceptically.

"Yes!" Connie cries. "Jesus, you're dense."

Jean thinks about it for a moment and it slowly dawns on him that Connie, for once, is actually right. "Yeah... I should... before he gets bored and stops coming in."

"In those speedos I don't think there's any danger of that," Connie sniggers.

"Oi Jeanbo," Levi says, sticking his head into the locker room, "you're little blond lad is back for an eyeful."

"He's going to get one," Connie snorts.

"Oh shut up," Jeans snaps, glaring at him.

"At least it's warm out there otherwise you might take his eye out," Levi says, completely deadpan.

"I hate you both," Jean says and leaves the changing room to the sound of Connie hooting with laughter.

He has to admit he is very glad that it is warm as he steps out into the office in nothing but his boots and the speedos. He wants to die of embarrassment as he sees the back of Armin's head, looking out the window at the yard. _Nope... nope can't do it!_ It's all too much for him and he turns to dart back into the locker room to put some proper clothes on but before he can make his escape he runs smack into Hanji.

"Don't you dare leave!" Hanji mouths at him.

"Please, I can't," Jean mouths back, grimacing.

Hanji looks at him sternly and turns him to face the back of Armin's head again before giving him a shove in Armin's direction.

Jean looks over his shoulder to see her waving frantically towards Armin and he knows he's totally trapped now so he takes a deep breath and clears his throat. "Um hey Armin... you waiting for me?"

"Jean, yes I was I..." Armin tails off as he turns around to properly look at him, "need my car washed." His voice rises in pitch and his eyes widen as he looks down to properly take in the speedo. "Um..."

"You okay?" Jean asks although he knows exactly what's making all the blood rush to Armin's face and he can feel his own heating up. _Oh my god I hate you Hanji!_

"Change of uniform?" Armin asks, his voice still a lot higher than usual. He clearly doesn't know where to he's supposed to be looking as he's trying to keep his eyes on Jean's face rather than anywhere else.

"Um yeah," Jean says rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well... um... at least your shirt won't get wet all the time," Armin says, floundering as he tries to not draw attention to the fact that he's eye level with Jean's nipples.

"So shall I get started on your car?" Jean asks, desperate to move to conversation on.

"Um yeah, I just need to get something out of the back seat," Armin says allowing his eyes to glance down at Jean's bare chest for a second, checking himself just before he gets an eyeful of dick.

"Lead the way then," Jean says trying to avoid having to bare his arse to Armin and follows him out to his car. "So what did you leave in the back of the car?"

"My house keys," Armin replies as he opens the back door and climbs in to start looking under the driver's side seat.

"What?" Jean laughs.

"My keys fell out of my pocket and ended up under something, now I can't find them," Armin says.

"Need a hand?" Jean asks opening the other rear door.

Armin looks up and he looks so adorable that Jean realises that this might be the perfect time to tell him how he feels. "I mean if you wouldn't mind that would be amazing."

"Sure thing," Jean says. He climbs into the back seat with Armin and joins him in searching. "So what do they look like?" he asks.

Before Armin can answer both doors slam closed and the locks click shut. His head snaps up. "What the..."

Jean, knowing better turns to look out the window and sees Connie and Hanji grinning at them, Levi standing beside them waving Armin's keys on the tip of his finger. Jean glares at the three of them. "Hanji what the hell?!"

"Now we thought that the two of you could use some time to talk," Hanji says. "So we're going to stick the car through the automatic wash and you can just sit back, relax and talk things through."

"HANJI!" Jean yells through the window. He could absolutely murder her... and Connie. Levi he'll let off the hook – he's a scary man even though he's tiny.

"Have fun boys," Hanji sings, waving as Connie begins to push the wheeled plinth Armin had parked his car on to the automatic car wash.

Jean groans, sitting back down and placing his heads over his face. He's stuck in Armin's car, _with_ Armin and he's wearing nothing but a speedo. This couldn't get any worse. Actually it could – he could pop a boner in these speedos – but he doesn't want to think about that prospect right now. He might actually die of embarrassment if that happens. The tension is mounting and he knows he really should do or say something to defuse it but he can't think of what would be appropriate or wouldn't make things even worse. Luckily for him Armin beats him to the punch as the jets of the car wash start.

"Well this is awkward," he chuckles.

Jean laughs. "A little yeah."

"What did she mean by 'have fun'?" Armin asks.

 _Oh god please don't ask!_

"Oh that?" Jean laughs nervously. "It's nothing, she's just being crazy, as usual."

"Oh..." Armin says. "I thought she might be locking us in my car to actually force us to talk to each other about things."

"Well... yeah... talking is probably a good idea," Jean stammers. _Oh god what do I say? What am I supposed to do here?_ "So... er... what do you want to talk about?"

Armin looks up at him with his adorable blue eyes. "Am I just reading this totally wrong or are you just as nervous as I am?"

"Considering that I'm in a very revealing pair of speedos I'm going to say that, yes. I am just as nervous as you are," Jean laughs.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, you're not reading this wrong," he says leaning over to brush Armin's fringe out of his eyes. "I'm just going to come out and I really like you."

"That's good," Armin says with a smile, taking hold of Jean's wrist to keep it in place, "because I really like you too."

"Really?" Jean asks, a grin stretching across his lips as he lets his fingers twist in Armin's soft hair.

"Is that so hard to believe?" Armin laughs.

"You're a gorgeous vet and I wash cars for a living," Jean replies with a shrug. "I wouldn't exactly have thought we were much of a fit for each other."

"Just going to throw this out there but have you actually looked in a mirror and seen you?" Armin asks, grinning. "When I first saw you I could barely even look at you. To be honest I'm having trouble looking at you now."

"It's the speedos, isn't it?" Jean laughs.

"No," Armin replies, which elicits a raised eyebrow from Jean. Armin chuckles. "Okay yes it's the speedos."

"I could take them off it that makes it easier?" Jean jokes.

"I don't think it will."

Jean thinks for a moment and a sudden realisation comes to mind. No one can see them – they're in an automatic car wash after all – and if his attire (or lack there of) is what is currently causing Armin's brain to malfunction then there is something he can do about that. It will at least take his mind off it.

"I have an idea," he says.

"Oh yeah?"

"Close your eyes."

Armin looks at him suspiciously for a second. "Why?"

"Just trust me," Jean laughs.

"Fine."

Armin closes his eyes, ears suddenly pricked to every little sound for the tiniest hint of movement from Jean. The car wash makes a lot of noise from inside the car but he feels the distance between them closing. He can feel Jean's breath against his skin and he can feel his entire body tingling in anticipation, ready for what he hopes is going to come next. He allows his mind to go blank as Jean's fingers tangle in his hair and he leans forward ever so slightly.

He looks utterly adorable so Jean takes a moment to just look at him, to take a moment to just look at him, to take in the slight flush of his cheeks and the way his lips are pouting the tiniest bit as he practically begs to be kissed. It is quite easily the best sight Jean has ever seen and wants to savour it.

Meanwhile Armin waits to be kissed, skin tingling with anticipation. The longer he waits the more doubts start to creep into his mind. _Why is he waiting? Does he not want this? Was he just humouring me? But he told me he liked me first. Oh my god I can't leave if that's true and he_ is _just humouring me!_

Before he can freak himself out too much he feels a soft pair of lips against his forehead and a soft gasp leaves his lips. Taking him by surprise again the lips find his eyelids, pressing the gentlest of kisses to first one and then the other. It feels amazing having Jean completely take him by surprise like this. He doesn't expect any of the kisses, can't anticipate where the next one will land.

As Jean's kisses move to his cheeks and the time of his nose a tiny moan leaves the back of his throat. The anticipation is killing him and he needs more. Still with his eyes closed he feels Jean's thumb running over his bottom lip and he can feel his desperation mounting.

"Jean..." he begs, voice strained with need.

"Yes beautiful?"

"Kiss me!"

Jean chuckles. "I thought I was kissing you," he teases, pulling his thumb away so that he can brush his lips against Armin's in the faintest imitation of a kiss.

Armin whimpers softly. "Please..."

"When you say it like _that_ how can I say no?"

Armin doesn't have the chance to say anything else before Jean's lips press against his. The fingers in his hair tighten slightly and Armin can't help the moan that sounds in the back of his throat. Jean's kisses are filled with passion and Armin is already addicted to his lips. He wants more, he needs more and as he runs his hand over Jean's bare shoulders, he realised that he can actually _have_ more.

"Jean..." he pants.

"Yeah?" Jean replies equally as breathless.

"I want you."

"I want you too."

"No I mean I _want_ you," Armin clarifies, his blue eyes burning with a fire Jean has never seen before.

"Here?" he asks, suddenly at a loss of what to say or do. _He... wait what?_

"Now's as good a time as any," Armin replies with a cheeky smirk that makes Jean want to do all manner of terrible things to him.

"You sure?"

"We're not exactly going anywhere," Armin says and Jean has to admit that he can't fault his logic. They are stuck in a car wash for the foreseeable future and even then it's unlikely that Hanji will let them out until one of them looks post coital.

"What did you have in mind?" Jean asks, a smirk of his own twisting its way onto his face. "I mean, not that I'm used to having sex in the back seats of cars, but yours isn't overly large and there isn't a lot of room."

"Well," Armin says, pushing himself up so that he can straddle Jean's hips, "we can improvise." He grinds his hips down over Jean's and the friction between his jeans and the speedos makes Jean cry out and buck his hips up.

"Holy shit!"

"You okay?"

"Y... yeah," Jean stammers. "You're amazing."

"So are you?"

Armin leans down and closes the distance between their lips and kisses Jean again. This time slipping his tongue passed his open lips to drive Jean wild. Jean's hands immediately find Armin's hips and his fingers snake under the hem of his t-shirt. Armin begins to rock his hips, grinding against Jean's cock as his fingers trail higher under his shirt and up his spine.

"Oh my god Armin, you're amazing!" Jean gasps as they pull apart for air.

"So are you." Armin replies equally as breathless as he dives in to press kisses to every inch of Jean's neck that I can. "Been thinking about you ever since I first saw you."

"Same," Jean admits. "I couldn't get you out of my head, every time I tried to forget you I just couldn't."

Armin leans close so that his lips are at Jean's ear, his breath ghosting against the shell. "I spent an entire night just thinking about you doing the most awful things to me and making me scream your name."

"Holy shit!" Jean gasps. "Tell me more!"

"I thought about you bending me over the hood of my car and fucking me hard," Armin whispers, his voice husky. "I thought about you pinning me down on my mattress and pounding into me and I even thought about you eating me out."

"Holy fucking shit!" Jean moans as Armin continues to grind against him. He can feel the coil in his gut tightening and if Armin doesn't stop with the vivid picture he's painting then he's going to cum in the speedos. If that happens he might just die all over again.

"I've been thinking about you a lot," Armin admits, blushing adorably, "but I never thought someone as insanely good looking as you would be interested in someone like me." He would look the picture of innocence if he wasn't writhing around in Jean's lap.

"Same," Jean says although he doesn't know if he's quite ready to admit that he spent an entire night jerking off to the thought of Armin handcuffed to his bed but by the sound of it Armin has been having very similar nights.

"Wanna do something with me then?" Armin asks, the cutest little smirk on his face.

"Hell yes," Jean replies finally snapping back to himself and remembering that he can do whatever he wants with the gorgeous blond in his arms and he'll enjoy it.

He pulls Armin down for a kiss, slipping his tongue past his already kiss swollen lips to tease Armin's. His hands slip further up the back of Armin's shirt, lifting it up and over his head, forcing them to break apart for a moment, so that he can get rid of it.

He allows himself a second to glance down Armin's chest before diving back in for another kiss. As he pulls Armin's body right up against his a groan rips from the back of his throat at the skin on skin contact. It sets a fire in his blood and he knows that he needs Armin writhing beneath him and now!

Using the hold he has on Armin he flips their positions so that he's hovering over him. His hair is splayed around him like a halo and he looks absolutely beautiful, so beautiful in fact that Jean leans down to press another kiss to his lips.

Before Armin can tangle his fingers in Jean's hair and keep him in position Jean begins a trail of kisses down Armin's neck and over his chest.

"Oh god Jean!" Armin cries as Jean's teeth stop to scrape one of his nipples.

Jean chuckles against his skin as his fingers begin to gently play with the other nipple. "Yes?"

"Please don't stop!"

"As you wish."

His lips continue down Armin's chest, over his stomach and down to the top of his jeans. Without hesitation Jean gets them open and down far enough, along with his boxers so that his cock is out. Armin cants his hips up ever so slightly as Jean's tongue snakes out to lick a strip from base to tip. Keeping his eyes locked on Armin he swirls his tongue around the head of Armin's cock, loving the way he desperately tries to keep eye contact. He's going to take Armin apart in the best way possible.

"Oh god!" Armin gasps, finally letting his head fall back against the seat as it all becomes too much for him.

With a smirk Jean takes this as his cue to take things up a notch. He opens his mouth and takes Armin's cock all the way to the back of his throat. He looks up into Armin's eyes to see him slap his hand over his mouth in order to muffle his moans. He decides to take it even further as he swallows around Armin, making him moan.

"Oh fuck," Armin groans, his fingers tangling in Jean's hair. "Oh fuck Jean!"

Jean slowly pulls off with the filthiest sound Armin has ever heard and smirks up at him. "You've got a filthy mouth on you," he teases, his eyes blazing.

"Sorry," Armin mumbles.

"Don't apologise," Jean says pressing kisses to every inch of skin he can. "Do you have any idea how gorgeous you sound moaning my name like that?"

Before Armin has the chance to answer Jean's mouth is on his cock again, making him cry out and lose whatever he might have been about to say. He lets his head fall back against the seat, allowing himself to be swept up in the feeling of Jean swallowing around the head of his cock while his tongue teases all the right spots. One of his hands finds purchase in Jean's hair, almost in a vain attempt to ground himself but he's too far gone.

"Jean..." he gasps as he feels the coil in his gut tightening, every nerve in his body reacting to the sensation, "Jean... I'm... I'm gonna cum."

Jean pulls off his cock for a second and Armin has to stop himself from whining at the loss. "Then cum for me beautiful," Jean tells him.

Before Armin can protest about the mess Jean's mouth is on his cock again and he's gone. The hand not in Jean's hair slams into the window as he spills everything he has down Jean's throat. Jean swallows it all, continuing to work Armin's cock so that he rides out his orgasm. Armin can barely breathe, it feels so good and he knows his grip on Jean's hair must be like a vice but he can't quite prise his fingers away.

His hand slips from the window to fall by his side, leaving a smeared hand print in the condensation they have caused. His breath comes out on pants as he comes down from the high of orgasm and all he can do is fall boneless onto the back seat.

"Holy fuck!" he pants.

He just about hears Jean chuckle before he's looming over him, brushing Armin's sweaty fringe out of his face. Armin's eyes flutter closed as Jean leans down to press a soft kiss to his lips. Desperate for more Armin wraps his arms around Jean's neck to deepen the kiss, slipping his tongue past Jean's lips, tasting himself on Jean's tongue and moaning into the kiss. He can feel Jean's cock still rock hard and pressing against his thigh.

"God you're so fucking amazing," Jean groans as he pulls away from Armin's lips to catch his breath.

"Want me to return the favour?" Armin asks, teasing his bottom lip between his teeth and looking up through his lashes.

Jean swallows trying to keep himself at least somewhat composed. "Y... yeah, I mean if you're offering."

"I'm very much offering," Armin says with a grin, pushing himself up onto his elbows.

Repositioning themselves in the back seat is awkward as hell but soon Jean is underneath Armin, one of Armin's hands rubbing his cock through the speedos as he kisses along Jean's chest. Jean is almost one hundred percent certain that he has actually died and gone to heaven but, really, it's an absolutely fine way to go in his opinion. To have this beauty above him suck his cock is going to be the single best thing that's ever happened to him.

"Oh god Armin!" he groans as his hands find Armin's hips again. "Wish I could fuck you right now."

"That can always be arrange another time," Armin chuckles as his kisses begin to move downwards.

"Holy fucking shit, yes!" Jean groans as Armin comes to a stop just above the top of his speedos. "I want you every single way possible."

"Mmm please," Armin hums before allowing his tongue to snake out from between his lips to taste and tantalise the skin just above the waistband of the speedos.

"Oh my god, you're amazing!" Jean moans as he reaches down to tangle his fingers in Armin's hair.

Armin replies by running his tongue over his top lip seductively before pulling the speedos down and freeing Jean's cock. A shiver runs up Jean's spine, a complete contract to the heat in the car, as Armin's tongue teases the head. He can feel Armin's breath fanning across his skin and the hand buried in gold tightens. He's already falling apart and Armin has barely even started yet, he needs to hold it together otherwise this will be embarrassingly quick.

The sounds from the automatic car wash are long finished and Jean knows it is only a matter of time before Connie or Hanji or someone comes knocking. He doesn't want this to end though. He wants to fall apart under Armin's lips and he would quite happily stay in this car with him forever if he could.

"Armin!" he cries loudly as Armin takes him right to the back of his throat and swallows around the head.

Armin's response is to moan around Jean's cock and the vibrations drive him absolutely wild. It takes all of his strength not to immediately start thrusting up into the warm wet of Armin's amazing mouth. A series of choked groans and gasps sound in his throat as Armin continues to give him the best head he's ever had in his life. The sensation is overwhelming and he can feel the coil in his gut tightening. He's going to cum soon and he doesn't know if he can actually voice this, the suction Armin creates with his cheeks is too good.

"Ah... Armin, I'm close," he just about manages to choke out as Armin gives his cock a hard suck.

"Then cum," Armin says pulling off his cock for a second before taking Jean right to the back of his throat again, his hand working what he can't fit in his mouth.

"But I..." Jean stammers, desperate to try and keep himself from losing control. Just because he was happy to swallow doesn't mean that Armin is. At least that's what he thinks until the tempting little tease licks a long strip up Jean's cock to flick over the head before looking up at him from underneath his lashes.

"Cum inside my mouth," he all but purrs.

 _Holy shit!_

Jean doesn't need to be told twice as Armin goes right back to sucking him off. He allows his hips to thrust up trying to get more of his cock down Armin's throat. It begins to build, faster than ever before as those amazing lips play over every ridge and groove of his cock. He's going to lose it and soon.

And then someone knocks on the car window.

"Car wash is finished if you guys are done fucking," Levi says first as Jean finally reaches his peak.

With a strangled groan of expletives, Armin's name and pure nonsense Jean expels everything he has into Armin's waiting mouth. If that wasn't enough Armin continues to suck him, swallowing everything that Jean has given him, making sure that Jean rides out the pleasure coursing through him.

As soon as Armin pulls off his cock Jean grabs the back of his head and pulls him into the hottest of kisses. He can taste himself on Armin's tongue and he can't even begin to care, all he wants to do is kiss the angel in front of him until neither of them can breathe anymore. _He's so perfect!_

"Hey you," he pants as he finally pulls away from him.

"Hey you," Armin says blushing adorably.

"That was amazing," Jean says pressing another soft kiss to Armin's lips.

"It was yeah," Armin agrees.

"You're so beautiful," Jean says marvelling at the fact that Armin is with him, wanting him and has just spent the last few minutes sucking him off.

"So are you," Armin mumbles, trying to hide behind his hair but Jean brushes it aside in order to kiss him again. "So... what do we do now?" Armin asks as they break apart.

Jean opens his mouth to answer but before he can say anything the lock clicks and one of the back doors suddenly opens. It takes him a good few minutes to process that Levi is standing in the open doorway, usual deadpan expression on his face, and the fact that both his and Armin's dicks are still out. With a yelp of surprise he suddenly comes back to himself and scrambles to cover them both. Armin glances over his shoulder, see Levi standing there, turns scarlet and buries his face in the crook of Jean's neck. It's clear from their state of undress and the slightly fucked out aura emanating from both of them what they've been up to.

"Are you guys done?" Levi asks. "The steamed up windows are attracting attention."

"Um... yeah," Jean replies.

"Thought you might want you clothes back," Levi says as if this isn't horrifically awkward enough and tosses Jean his jeans and t-shirt.

"Thanks." This is the weirdest conversation he's ever been part of and he want it to end as quickly as possible.

"You might want to air your car out," Levi tells Armin. "It smells like jizz."

"Okay," Armin mumbles, his face still in Jean's shoulder.

Without another word Levi closes the door, leaving them alone again. Unable to help himself Jean starts to laugh at the absurdity of the whole situation. His laugh is infectious and Armin finds himself joining in until they're both breathless with mirth. Jean presses his forehead to Armin's and leans forward to kiss the tip of his nose.

"So much for being subtle about what we've been doing," he chuckles, fingers playing with the soft hair at the nape of his neck. It's comforting and the tiniest of moans escapes from Armin's chest.

"Yeah," he replies dreamily.

"Oh well," Jean laughs. There is still an electricity in the air that has both of them desperate to touch, needing the skin on skin contact like they need to breathe.

"So what do you want to do now?" Armin asks after a pause.

"Well I'm probably due a break or if not Hanji owns me one for giving me this as a uniform," Jean says indicating the speedos, "so we could get dressed and go get some lunch if you want to."

"That sounds amazing," Armin says with a smile.

"Great," Jean says leaning down once again to press his lips to Armin's in a long, lingering kiss. He can't quite believe that this is happening but the both of them are so happy that it has. God bless Hanji sometimes.


End file.
